Udi thinks beating up his kids, threatening to abandon them is the best way to discipline them. The more they fear him, the better they will obey their father.
To Udi, Discipline is fear.
Let's go back a little...
…when Udi was about 5, he has always been a good obeying son to his parents. It was his first day of school, his parents were so proud of him getting into an elite school fully depending upon his abilities. Inside the huge school building, the premises was full of loud noises from the crowd, some were crying on their first day, some were super excited to meet new environment while Udi had a neutral face. The expressions were a nuisance to him, “they should be more brave and not a crybaby- we are 5 not 1. What are their parents doing? They should be beaten till they choke on their own tears”, thought Udi with a huff. The chilling words a 5 year old developed in his mind were coming from his own experiences.
His daily routine was fixed by his father in the name of disciplining his son for a better life. Udi would wake up at 5am, freshen up and get ready for a brisk walk through the park with his father. Return home at 5:45am, take bath, get ready for school and have breakfast at 6:15am. The bus came at 6:45am and he came back home at 3pm. After getting changed and freshening up, 15 mins. break was given for entertainment purpose, he then had to get ready for his Judo classes at 4pm. Udi was enrolled in various extra-curricular activities such as horse riding, judo, coding classes, etc as his father thinks that a child should never be kept unoccupied; it makes them weak and emotional fools. He would return home by 7pm, freshen up, get changed and have his dinner at 8pm. He used to receive an hour long lecture from his father how his day was wisely spent because of him and how he could have got lost due to his childish immaturity.
The father was proud as he saw his son’s calm nature as compared to the havoc the other kids were making. He has always taught his son to hide his true feelings to the world because it shows their weakness and men are not weak. Men need to have a disciplined life as a supreme being among the other creations of God. The father had asked him to be at the top of his class otherwise he will never be acknowledged by other people.
Moving forward to 12 years in time...
Udi excelled his intermediate and emerged as the district topper just as his father advised him. He was at the top of everything he applied at but, there was a gap that he felt but never understood. He had no one to call a best friend but his father said friends are for weak people to lean on and he’s not weak. Everything that happened in his life was planned out by his father, what to eat, what to wear, when and with whom to talk, which school to attend, which friends to make, which subject to choose and even his career decisions. His father saw his son as a chief engineer at an MNC (not taking any names here).
The other father...
Rudra on the other hand, thinks of Discipline as a learning the kids get from their experiences and surroundings. The kids are a blessing from the God and they are to be treated as one. They need to be taught with love and honesty. He has never beaten his kids for silly mistakes such as a quarrel with other kids, them wanting ice-cream, not willing to go school or asking for a toy. He would gladly fulfill their wishes but with a lesson that their tiny head could store up.
Rudra and Udi both were residing in the same colony. One time their neighbors' kids, were caught red-handed by their father. They were twins in their late teens and Rudra's oldest kid was in his early teens. The neighbor couple had a habit of going on an evening walk after their dinner. They would usually go for around 45 minutes and come back till 10pm. Their kids found this as an opportunity and escaped outside with their father's scooty. The night was chilly as it was a night before Dhanteras (Hindu Festival) so the couple decided to come back within 15 minutes of walk. To their surprise, the gates were open, there was a metal chain on the floor and their scooty was not there. The father dashed inside with thumbing heart beat fearing for his sons, who were also there. They checked with the neighbors who told them the shocking truth which they were already having a hunch. The mother sat on the stairs outside their home waiting for their sons to return. While she was lost in her thoughts and storm of worries, a little hand was placed on her shoulders. It had a warmth to it, not because of the weather, it was enough to calm her down. Those hands were of Rudra's youngest one, he was trying to soothe the mother while wiping her tears away.
The mother couldn't hold up and began to sob while telling everything to him. This was heard by both Rudra and Udi on which Udi shouted at the kid, "Is this a way a kid should behave? Can't you see she's already in a sensitive position, why are you making it harder for her? A kid should always stay inside their room and not like this gossiping".
The little kid got a shook, he was tight lipped by the loud voice. Udi turned towards Rudra thinking he would do the same, beat his kid and lock him up. But to his surprise he gave him a stern look and with a sigh sat down to his son's height, "I am so sorry my boy, you had to go through all this. Sometimes grownups do things that are not right but, you don't have to be afraid because of that. I know you were trying to console the lady and that's kind of you but, it is not a time for you to be awake. Let us grownups handle this case, Alright Buddy?" The boy shook his head with a smile gave his father a peck on the cheek and went inside.
Rudra said, "You can't teach discipline to a kid like this. It is not a lesson to be taught but, to be learnt on their own. He is just a little boy, let him stay like that".
To Rudra, Discipline is the way one leads their life efficiently.
Which face do you follow?
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